Thursday, October 30, 2008

Finding Balance...

I'm struggling lately. To find balance that is.
I give myself the freedom to skip the house work or delay bringing the movies back or running errands so I can spend that last precious hour of daylight outside on the swing set with my son or taking a four wheeler ride around the block with him and David. But I've been finding it really hard to find balance between it all lately. I know you can't do it all but lately I feel like if I am doing anything with out my family I feel like I am wasting precious time. Perhaps it was David's illness or the hurricane fiasco I have no idea...but I just want to spend all my time loving and nurturing my relationships with them. I feel almost like something has changed inside of me. I never really had that instant motherly bond that women talk about when they look at their newborn baby, I felt more obligation and responsibility than anything....and that really took by by surprise. But gradually I began to feel it and lately it's been on overload. So tonight is date night. For Zane and I. We will make rice crispy treats and decorate pumpkins. I thought about carving a pumpkin but since he is still a little young, a dear friend of mine recommended painting pumpkins (thanks Elizabeth!). Should be interesting!

Ok, so 365's for the week...

That's all folks!


LindseYaYa said...

Change is good. In my life, because I consider myself a creative person, I sometimes catch myself giving 'my best' away to everyone else BUT the people who should matter most. It was when I decided to give them my best, that I received more than I ever gave. Does that make sense? It doesn't matter when you feel this change- as long as you have the courage to make the change when it comes your way. In my experience, it was my biggest change to date... it was scary- bc sometimes I liked validation found in superficial places- but once I realized that was more authentic, sincere, and real... the very best version of myself, I embraced the fact that I rock at this. I've never been happier. Life has never been more simple. I feel free.

I hope you fall head over heels for this change. Your time will never be more well spent. Nor will you receive more in return. *I'm not saying it will be easy, or you won't have days when you still search for yourself... but it's in those searching times that your boys will remind you exactly who you are. A woman: full, rich, experienced, wise, loving, authentic, sincere, and all together lovely.

I love you. All parts of you. Especially this part.

random moments said...

Boy, Lindsey's got a mouth on her, don't she? ;) She's oh so right though. *sigh*

I think life is all about change. Getting comfy and then BAM the rug is swept out from underneath ya.

I know how you feel, sometimes I feel like I'm almost being carried (very quickly) through life and I worry I won't make the right decisions or spend my time the right way with the people I love. The changes - scary. And once you finally get used to something, it changes on you!

I say, SCREW the dishes, and the laundry (until you both stink a little) and the dusting. Family time is way more important.

As always, really enjoy your photos!